World Sexual Health Day (WSHD) is Sept. 4 and this year’s theme is “Sexual Pleasure in Times of Covid-19.” The World Association of Sexual Health, the founders of WSHD, recently published their Declaration on Sexual Pleasure, establishing it as a human right, and as fundamental to sexual health and wellness.
As we found in the survey we conducted on the sexual impact of the pandemic and quarantine, fantasies and pleasure products emerged as prominent ways people were (and still are) generating sexual pleasure during this time. (See our recent articles in Sexual Health Magazine and XBIZ Premiere Magazine.)
As sex coaches, we can help our clients by giving them the tools to make pleasure more accessible. Helping them learn to incorporate sex toys into their partnered experiences is one option for doing that. Here are four reasons why, as a sex coach, you should encourage your clients to try out pleasure products!
1. Pleasure products increase accessibility to sexual pleasure
Sex toys are tools to ehance sexual experiences, with yourself or with others! When I first started having sex with my partner, I felt feelings of frustration and abandonment because I was not experiencing orgasm at the same rate as my partner.
Using pleasure products with my partner flipped the script. It opened up new ways of thinking when it came to our sex life. It allowed pleasure to effortlessly flow between us and it helped me prioritize my own pleasure. This simple act of using a little handheld vibrator during a time I normally wouldn’t changed the game completely.
This experience helped me understand that there was nothing wrong with me. Pleasure existed within my body, I just had not been accessing it.
The root of so many clients’ sexual frustrations comes from the belief that something is fundamentally broken about them or their bodies. Incorporating sexual aids can bridge that gap and help clients access pleasure easily and more regularly. This could help your client internalize the belief that pleasure during sex is a fundamental right that they have.
2. Sex toys can mix up the routine
Clients probably often come to you with concerns that they are “stuck in a rut” or a “dry spell” that includes a lack of sex in their relationship. A common story is that sex becomes a routine. It becomes something that just happens absentmindedly and without much enthusiasm or “spice.”
Shopping for sex toys, considering different options, and then choosing some fun new toys together can often be enough to break up that routine!
3. Pleasure products encourage exploration and curiosity
Photo by Anna Shvets from Pexels
Toys can help broaden our perspectives on what sex can look like. Our sexual culture has left so many of us with very rigid and strict ideas about sex. Clients often feel stuck but don’t realize how much there is to explore about themselves.
Incorporating pleasure products can open up that door and invite a plethora of new experiences, sensations, and ideas. Starting with a small vibrator can lead to exploring kink or fantasies. It can lead to discovering different types of sensation play or role playing. Ultimately it could lead couples down a beautiful path of exploring and learning about themselves and their partner(s).
4. Sexual aids bring novelty and excitement to the relationship
One of the most frequent complaints you probably hear from couples clients is that they’ve lost the spark they had in the beginning. This is so common with long term relationships. We become so familiar and comfortable within our relationship that we lose all the butterflies and unpredictability. There’s no longer anything new to discover about each other and sex becomes the same boring session.
If there are no underlying issues within the relationship, often couples are just looking for ways to bring back that exciting, new, and magical energy. In a previous article we discussed the variations between excitement and bliss and how these terms can be used to empower clients. Travelling together, trying out new date spots, or doing something new and adventurous is always helpful.
Bringing sexual aids into the bedroom can entice this energy to return. Solo sex with toys is awesome in and of itself, but using toys with a partner can induce that beautiful “new relationship” energy.
At the end of the day, sex toys exist to enhance sexual pleasure. They exist to make your body feel good. They are tools meant to aid you in your pleasure journey. Helping clients take control of their sexual pleasure means helping them realize that their pleasure should be a priority. It’s not secondary or menial, it is important. Read more about how you can use self-pleasure to self-soothe here.
Pleasure products helped me get to a place where I was the main driver in my sex life instead of a passive bystander. They helped me become the main character in my sexual story. Sexual pleasure is a right, not a privilege. Using pleasure products is one way to express that right.
Curious about training to become a Certified Sex Coach™? Join the next live Info Session to meet the SCU team and participate in a live Q&A!
