Do you feel prepared to debunk the most common sex coaching myths? How would you address client resistance that’s rooted in their misconceived idea of sex coaching? Are you confident in your ability to correct a potential client’s understanding of sex coaching?
Being familiar with the most common myths and misconceptions regarding sex coaching is crucial for clearly communicating expectations and boundaries with a client. It’s also important for marketing purposes, since some of these misperceptions can influence whether potential clients even reach out for help in the first place.
Whether you’re a sex coach in training or a sex coach with a full-time practice, it’s important to remain in touch with the most common sex coaching myths and how to debunk them. This article will go over 5 common myths of sex coaching.
Myth 1: Sex Coaching is a “New Age” form of therapy that doesn’t require training.
Sex coaching blends sexology with life coaching in a way that focuses on the stated goals of the client. Sex coaching involves a collaborative approach to building and enacting an action plan that supports those goals. To become a Certified Sex Coach™ through Sex Coach U, you must complete over 250 hours of training in clinical sexology, co-active coaching, and our unique Integrated Sex Coaching approach, which synthesizes and extends what you learn in the sexology and coaching courses.
Although some basic similarities can be drawn, sex coaching differs from therapy in its methods and focus. Therapists diagnose and treat, and dive deep into the source of a client’s difficulties. In contrast, sex coaches are in a non-hierarchical position with their clients. They focus on the present and on helping their clients achieve a clear set of goals.
With that being said, coaches are trained to recognize when a client needs therapy and a good therapist will recognize when a client is ready to seek or work in tandem with a sex coach.
Myth 2: I have to be in a relationship experiencing issues to see a sex coach.
Certified Sex Coaches™ receive training to address the potential blockages that can occur through the following aspects: mind, emotions, body, energy, and spirit. All of these realms can influence sexual activity, sexual desire, and physiological functioning, and Certified Sex Coaches™ use the MEBES™ model to holistically address these imbalances.
Relationship status is irrelevant in terms of addressing the concerns a person has about their sexuality or body. People decide to see a sex coach on their own or with their partner(s) for the purposes of adult sexual education, exploration, and sexual enhancement.
Myth 3: A sex coach will make me do embarrassing exercises during sessions.
Since sex coaching is client-centered and results-focused, exercises are often a part of sex coaching. When exercises are used, they are usually suggested as a part of homework to be done alone or with a partner in between sessions and are tailored to the client’s concern.
Notice the word “suggest.” Coaches should never force clients to do any exercises that make them feel triggered or outright uncomfortable. While some exercises might feel strange at first, they are designed to help clients move through blockages and promote healing, generate curiosity, and foster creativity in a way that is engaging and safe.
Some coaches will have you agree to client guidelines that state the importance of participation in suggested exercises in the privacy of their own homes. But these guidelines should always emphasize that clients shouldn’t do anything they feel uncomfortable doing.
Myth 4: Sex coaching requires touch and/or sex with clients.
Photo by Polina Zimmerman from Pexels
One of the most common questions I received as a sex coach in training was, “So, you’re going to have sex with your clients?” Potential clients may shy away from the idea of ever speaking to a sex coach because they assume they will be required to have sex with their coach or that some level of touch is required.
Sex coaching is a talk-only profession. Some sex coaches are also trained in bodywork modalities, while others work with Surrogate Partners who offer Surrogate Partner Therapy of SPT in the triadic model of client, coach, and therapist. However, touch is never a part of a sex coaching session.
Many sex coaches can also be considered personalized sexuality educators and, as such, may consider themselves candidates for certification as sexuality educators through the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT). The code of conduct for AASECT members states clearly that touch is not to be a part of client work.
The World Association of Sex Coaches upholds the basic tenets of the code of ethics of AASECT with the exception that they also “uphold the right for sex coaches who are trained and certified by the World Association of Sex Coaches to use healing and appropriate touch.”
Myth 5: If I see a sex coach with my partner, I will have to answer private and embarrassing questions.
Sex coaches provide a safe, non-judgmental, and de-pathologizing space to open up at your own pace. Sex coaches do not interrogate you or pressure you to reveal things about yourself or your relationship you don’t feel comfortable sharing.
Sometimes, there may be value to having separate sessions from your partner even though you started seeing the sex coach together. When this happens, it’s important to note these sessions are not designed to keep secrets, but rather will provide a safe space to those who want to discuss things with their partner that they are having trouble communicating on their own.
Debunking Myths Helps Clients & the Profession of Sex Coaching
No matter where you are in your training and professional development as a sex coach, you will almost certainly encounter these and other myths about our profession. Understanding the common myths and how to address them is important as you establish and maintain ways of communicating with your clients and audience.
As more and more myths are debunked, clients will see that sex coaching can be an enjoyable experience with clear boundaries focused on bringing individuals toward their highest sexual potential!
Curious about training to become a Certified Sex Coach™? Join the next live Info Session to meet the SCU team and participate in a live Q&A!
