Welcome to the “How to Become a Sex Coach” series! In these essays, you’ll learn how the Certified Sex Coach™ training offered through Sex Coach U prepares you to become a competent, knowledgeable, ethical, and financially successful sex coach.
In the first part of our “How to Become a Sex Coach” series, we discussed how sexology forms the first pillar of your training to become a Certified Sex Coach™. You have to understand WHAT people do in their sex lives and how they might be thinking or feeling about their activities, fantasies, and desires.
But it’s not enough to just possess that knowledge. Information alone won’t help your clients. They’re wishing they could figure out how to resolve their sexual concerns so they can enjoy their sex lives without shame, pain, or other difficulties. They’re struggling and looking for guidance.
Coaching is how we provide that guidance. Through coaching, we help people resolve their concerns and learn to celebrate their unique sexuality.
Our Approach is Based on the Co-Active Coaching Model
At Sex Coach U, we teach you the Co-Active Coaching Model, an approach that’s been scientifically proven to facilitate transformative change.
“Neuroscience research has shown that Co-Active Coaching supports clients to develop positive new neural networks, respond more calmly to stress, make choices more easily, and access much more of their creativity. This inevitably leads to more effective, successful, and fulfilling lives.” Excerpt from the Co-Active Blog
In the Co-Active Coaching model, you learn about the four levels of listening and you discover how to lean into your intuition and something called “felt sensing,” all of which helps you to align with your client at any time along their journey.
This is important because the first thing you need to do with a new client is to establish trust and rapport. We teach you how to use co-active coaching skills to assess your clients and support them through their healing journey. This process begins as soon as your intake session. You’ll use our unique MEBES© assessment to identify all of the areas that may be having an impact on your client’s sexual wellness.
You can learn more about the MEBES© system by reading the following essays:
- MEBES: A Soulful Lens to a Diverse World, by Dr. Nwachi Pressley-Tafari
- MEBES as a Tool to Clear Your Container, Part 1, by Ada Sewell
- Clearing Your Containers with MEBES, Part 2, by Ada Sewell
How to avoid the Humpty Dumpty Effect
One of the things you must do while working with clients is to AVOID the Humpty Dumpty Effect. The Humpty-Dumpty Effect is when you crack someone open, by getting them talking about their sexual concerns, and they spill their guts, but then neither you nor they know how to put them back together again.
Sexuality is such a delicate topic that intersects so many other facets of life, it’s easy to find yourself in way over your head when working with this topic.
And coaching is complicated—as we said, it’s more than just having and imparting knowledge. You have to understand how to help someone identify, set, and achieve their own goals; not what you think they “should” do. It’s about helping them overcome their own obstacles. And how to establish boundaries, transform negative self-talk, acquire the confidence to ask for what they want, and so, so much more.
It’s relatively easy to break people open. It’s much harder to put them back together. Coaching is the “how” of helping them achieve their goals AND the “how” of putting them back together after they’ve had a breakdown. It’s knowing HOW to help your client transform that breakdown into a breakthrough.
Putting it All Together
If you want to learn to be an effective sex coach, you need both the sexology knowledge (the “what”) AND the coaching skills (the “how”).
You also need to understand how to synthesize sexology and coaching to specifically address sexuality concerns in a holistic, compassionate, future-oriented, solution-focused, and client-centered way, rather than relying on a therapy or medical model.
Our coursework is divided into four modules, each of which covers coursework in sexology, coaching, and our unique Integrated Sex Coaching content.
From the beginning of your training, you will witness sex coaching case studies. In these real sessions, generously shared with Sex Coach U by the clients you will meet, you will watch Dr. Patti Britton guide individuals and couples through the sex coaching process.
This way, you get to see real examples of sex coaching in practice and you get introduced to some classic examples of the types of clients and client concerns you’re likely to encounter in your own practice.
Don’t be one of the king’s horses or the king’s men—you CAN learn how to put Humpty back together again!
Want to see sex coaching in action? Sign up for our free webinar called the “LONDON Success Model,” where Dr. Patti will conduct two live, unscripted sex coaching session demonstrations with volunteers who have real sexual concerns.