Each of us is on a unique journey, exploring and evolving our professional paths and callings. In this piece, I unfold the chapters of my own journey, initially embracing the role of a sexuality educator and now, expanding my horizons by incorporating sex coaching into my repertoire. This isn’t about pivoting away from sex education; it’s about enhancing and diversifying my expertise to provide a more comprehensive and supportive experience. Join me as I share the experiences and insights that have led me to broaden my professional scope. As you read, I invite you to reflect on your own journey and consider what enrichments could blossom in your chosen path.
Why I Decided to Get Into Sex Ed
Growing up in a small town in England, my initial understanding of sexuality was filled with whispered myths and half-understood truths from peers. From dealing with body image issues to navigating the ups and downs of early menstruation, my youth was a mix of confusions and revelations that shaped my understanding of self-worth, femininity, and intimacy.
Fast-forward a few years…as I journeyed through two marriages and the challenges of motherhood, those early experiences took on new meaning. One thing that stayed with me was the act of faking orgasms—an uncomfortable reality not just about meeting societal norms, but more about my own struggles to truly understand and embrace my desires.
It wasn’t just about those overt challenges. It was also about the subtler ones like accepting my body and managing the whirlwind of emotions that came with becoming a woman. Reflecting on these, I recognized the broader issues many face when it comes to intimacy. It was clear that there was a need for open conversation, understanding, and real connection when discussing our intimate selves.
My Mission to Educate & Promote Dialogue
Driven by these personal experiences, in 2012, I took a leap. I started a Facebook page dedicated to reshaping how we talk and think about intimacy. Soon, comments and direct messages poured in, with people asking questions and thanking me for my openness.
One evening, as my husband, Gavin, and I sat with friends, discussing my content and our shared vulnerabilities around sexuality, I noticed how everyone became more animated, revealing their experiences and concerns. It was clear that this space was desperately needed.
So, over the next few years, I threw myself into this mission—conducting workshops, giving interviews, creating YouTube content, and penning articles. I even spent hours in training to become an accredited sex educator. My aim was clear: provide accurate information and promote an open dialogue about sexuality.
My Evolution from Sex Educator to Sex Coach
However, while educating large groups, I realized I had a growing desire to engage on a more personal level.
On one occasion, a young lady approached me after a group talk, tears in her eyes. She had never been given the tools to articulate her feelings about her own body. My openness had given her a starting point, and it was a poignant reminder of why sexual education is so important.
Yet, I yearned to be able to support this young woman (and others like her) in a more direct and personalized way. I needed to figure out how to address the individual challenges and unique situations that many encounter in their sexual lives.
This drove me to my next professional evolution: enriching my role in sex education by embracing the additional path of sex coaching.
Why the Shift to Sex Coaching?
To facilitate this shift, in March 2023, I began my training to become a Certified Sex Coach™ through Sex Coach U.
Here are the reasons why this pivot was important to me, including why Sex Coach U’s program in particular was the one for me.
1. A Deeper, More Individualized Approach:
My prior focus, largely driven by sex education, dealt with broad topics—safe sex, consent, anatomy, among others. These are crucial, no doubt, but everyone has their own specific challenges, insecurities, and questions. As a Certified Sex Coach™, I will be equipped with skills that allow for specialized assessments and for crafting tailored programs to address each person’s distinct needs.
Sex Coach U’s program has a depth and a breadth that covers the gamut of sexual concerns for various types of people. I’m learning about the vast diversity of human sexual expression and I’m discovering how to coach (and getting plenty of opportunities to practice live). I believe that when I start working with clients, no matter who they are, I will feel confident about helping them work through their concerns.
2. Expanding My Service Offerings:
Sex education has been a great platform for me, though it’s had its hurdles. It’s easy for messages to get misconstrued, and dealing with social media restrictions and algorithm glitches hasn’t been fun–I’m already on my third Instagram account!
However, as a Certified Sex Coach, I’ll have more to offer. I can provide personal coaching sessions to individuals or couples and run group workshops on specific topics. This lets me make a real, hands-on difference in people’s lives.
I suspect I’ll still struggle with social media censorship, but I’m looking forward to the part of the business program that will help me find ways to market myself effectively.
3. Building a Foundation of Trust:
Sexual topics are intimate by nature. And of course, talking about sex is incredibly difficult for some.
I’m learning rapport-building techniques and how to create a judgment-free space in a session to enable my future clients to relax, to feel safe, and to be brave enough to open up.
With my certification from Sex Coach U, I won’t have just added a title; I will possess a testament to rigorous training and an ethical commitment. This, too, stands as a beacon of trust for future clients.
4. Networking and Collaboration:
The Sex Coach U training process has introduced me to a community of like-minded professionals. These networks are invaluable. If a client’s needs extend beyond my expertise, I now have a roster of trusted professionals for referrals.
Plus, it’s so wonderful to have a group of peers to share frustrations and accomplishments with, to ask for and give support and information, and who are there whenever I’m feeling alone in my new career.
5. Keeping Current with Trends and Research:
Sexual health is a dynamic field. My certification mandates that I stay abreast of the latest research and methodologies, ensuring future clients get guidance rooted in contemporary knowledge.
6. Honing Communication and Listening Skills:
Effective sex coaching necessitates profound empathy and exceptional communication skills. Through training, I am refining my ability to foster open dialogue, enabling deeper, more impactful conversations with clients.
I’m looking forward to attending the weekly Peer Coaching Practice sessions, which are designed to help me put my training into practice. I’m hearing from my fellow students that these opportunities are invaluable to helping us understand what we’re doing well and how to improve. All in a safe space with our peers BEFORE we’re faced with trying to figure out how to coach a real client.
7. Personal Growth and Self-Reflection:
As an educator, I constantly learn. My journey to becoming a Certified Sex Coach™ has been an introspective one. It’s prompted me to challenge and understand my biases around sexuality, making me a more rounded sexuality professional.
For instance, before Sex Coach U, I believed I had a solid, comprehensive understanding of sexuality and its diverse expressions. But the experience has opened my eyes to a multitude of perspectives, nuances, and the profound depth that the realm of sexuality encompasses. This training has challenged my preconceptions and broadened my awareness, encouraging a continuous process of unlearning and relearning.
This learning journey has been pivotal in refining my empathy, enhancing my listening skills, and reinforcing my commitment to supporting others in navigating the complexities of their sexual journeys with heightened sensitivity and insight.
8. Ethical Commitment:
A certification in sex coaching is as much about character as it is about capability. In such a delicate domain, adhering to ethical guidelines safeguards the well-being of clients and upholds the honor of our profession.
Sex Coach U has set the global standard for ethical practice in the realm of sex coaching. I believe in their values and ideals and am proud to be an SCU student (and future graduate).
My Evolving Journey
As I look back at my journey, from that confused young woman to now, my mission has been clear yet ever-evolving. From sparking conversations to guiding personal journeys, I’ve transitioned from being a beacon of information to a compass for personal exploration.
In a world where intimacy often gets lost in the noise, I stand as a testament to the power of genuine connection, authenticity, and the beauty of human sexuality. As I continue on this path, combining my expertise as both an educator and a coach, I am more ready than ever to guide individuals and couples toward richer, more fulfilling intimate lives.
In the next few years, I envision a future where my role as a Certified Sex Coach™ strikes the perfect balance between personal and professional fulfillment. I aim to have the freedom to spend quality time with my family and friends, cherishing those irreplaceable moments.
Simultaneously, I plan to be a beacon of support for others, helping them navigate their intimate concerns. Making a difference in their lives will always be my driving force. And yes, while doing so, I hope to prosper, ensuring a sustainable and rewarding career. It’s not just about coaching for me; it’s about living and embracing the full essence of the sex coach life.
Whether you’re a sex educator broadening your horizons like me, or embarking on a different professional path altogether, it’s essential to engage in thoughtful reflection about your aspirations and the ways you wish to contribute and support others.
Consider how each step, like my addition of sex coaching, might enhance your ability to serve and guide those seeking your expertise. This new direction has been a significant enhancement to my life’s mission and professional landscape, enabling a more profound impact in the lives of individuals and couples navigating their intimate journeys.
Curious about training to become a Certified Sex Coach™? We invite you to join our Sex Coaching in Action webinar to meet the Sex Coach U team and participate in a live Q&A.