Imagine…your name on the cover. Your voice on the pages inside. Your expertise on the bookshelves of households across the globe. That’s a fantastic picture, isn’t it?

When setting their long-term goals, many sex coaches dream about one day publishing their very own sex book. Let’s take a look at some of the perks and the challenges in making this dream come true.

Boost Your Credibility

With the wealth of easily accessible information now available online, a book is a chance to take yourself to the next level. A book is seen as more than a blog, more than a podcast, more than a guest appearance on a radio show. It codifies your expertise and makes it a structured journey for your audience. 

The very existence of a book written by you serves as proof that there is something to codify—and so your credibility as a sexuality expert gets a boost. If the journey proves to be a helpful or enjoyable one for the readers, the boost may get your credibility soaring.

Expand Your Reach

A book is also a way to reach new clients. This is especially true for a book on sex—the taboo around sex talk and the resulting shame are some of the blocks that may stop people from reaching out to you for help. 

Talking to them through the medium of a book—a safe space, where they have full control of the interaction—may be just the thing that makes them decide to contact you. Though you have never met them, they have met you, in a way. And the beginnings of trust and connection have been formed.

Elevate Your Message

As a sex coach, you probably have a strong sense of mission. You want to change the world. You want to bring about sexual awareness, health, and wellbeing for all. And so, you educate. You fight stereotypes and misinformation. You speak out. 

After a while, you find yourself repeating the same messages again and again—“everyone has the right to evidence-based sexual education,” “pleasure is an integral part of sex,” “you can always withdraw consent.” 

You start wondering how many times you will need to repeat these vital messages to see change. A book is a great way to let your voice be heard and carry. And it is a sound with a self-sustaining echo.

Writing a Book Helps You Grow

man sits at a computer writing a sex book

Photo by Ivan Samkov from Pexels

Writing a sex book is a learning experience not only for your readers. It is also an exercise in growth you can give yourself. It is an opportunity to structure your thoughts and gain a deeper understanding of what it is that you want to tell the world. And how. 

It is a chance to sit down and answer some crucial questions. Who are you as a sexuality professional? What values do you represent? What do you stand for? What do you believe sexual wellbeing is? What is your image of the path we all need to walk to get there?

Once you share your voice with the world, another opportunity for growth arises. Books get reviewed. They get scores and stars. They get lauded and criticized. As a book author, you are bound to hear both praise and dissent in response to what you have to say. 

Use this as an opportunity to practice being grounded in your own truth in a diverse world, inhabited by a multitude of voices, and you will transform this challenge into a perk.

Other Challenges in Writing a Sex Book

When you decide to write a book, the first question that may arise for you is, “What hasn’t been said about sex yet”? While the world is very much still in need of adequate sexual education, safe spaces to deal with sexual topics, and lots of permission to release shame, the global market is full of books on sex. Finding—or creating—your own space among them and believing that your voice matters may be the first bridge you need to cross.

The next challenge is that books don’t write themselves. What are you willing to not do to free up the time to write it? Do you take time out of your schedule, get cooped up in a cabin in a remote location, turn off your phone, write for 14 hours a day, and blast the book out in two weeks? Do you limit your client work or your social media presence and take two days out of each week for a few months to write? Do you sacrifice your weekends, your free time? How will writing a book fit into your life? To overcome this obstacle, come at it with self care as a priority. Or hire a ghostwriter.

Putting your book out there will bring forth another crucial dilemma—do you sell your book to a publishing house or go the self-publishing route? Both have their own considerable pros and cons. A publisher will take a large part of the burden off your shoulders (the editing, the marketing, the sales), but they will have their own ideas about what your book should and shouldn’t be. Self-publishing will give you full control of the project, but will probably necessitate you learning new skills, devoting much more of your time to making it happen, and will also mean a financial investment.

Money is another area to think about. Unless you produce a bestseller, a book is usually not a cash cow. It does provide some passive income over time and it may contribute to financial gain through new clients or projects you are invited into, but it will most probably not build you a swimming pool all on its own.

Why Do YOU Want to Write a Sex Book?

Every book starts with a blank page. So does the process of deciding whether you want to fill it. Take a piece of paper, divide it into two columns, and make a personalized list of all the perks and challenges that writing a book would entail for you.

The variables are many and it may seem both an exciting and a daunting task. The one variable that may break the tie is the answer to the question, “Are you going to enjoy the process?” If writing a sex book is something that will bring you joy, the final outcome becomes secondary. It is the journey of creation that is the ultimate perk.

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