In the early days of the global pandemic, sex coaches started to notice issues coming up in their sessions related to the ripple effect of isolating, quarantine, and the threat of the Covid-19 virus. Dr. Patti has shared a couple case studies, representative of what a lot of sex coaches were seeing in those first few months. 

Joseph & Beth – Covid Heightened Sexual Anxiety

“One of my cases was a millennial couple, Joseph and Beth (names changed to protect their identities). They have been living together for 3 to 4 years and have suffered from constant anxiety about their sex life. She had been pre-orgasmic when I first met her and was now very successful by using her Hitachi wand; and he suffered from anxiety related to a medical condition affecting erections. 

Their sexual styles were also fairly incompatible from the start, but with great sex coaching, they learned how to match and relate to each other. Post-Covid, the tragedy was that they were about to get married in July, and with the anticipated lockdown anticipated to continue into summer of 2020, they decided to postpone their wedding until 2021. 

This created more anxiety for them and less frequency in their sexual contact even though they were living together in lockdown! 

Through our coaching I was able to normalize their feelings and experience, allowing them to find ways to separate within their flat for breaks, so that desire could flourish. They also agreed to put sex on the calendar weekly and to find new and playful ways to relax into sex rather than having it be a stress zone. 

They are happily on their way to revived erotic pleasure together and looking forward to a future wedding with joyful anticipation replacing strained worry.”

Martha – Love is Not Enough in the Era of Covid

Another client of Dr. Patti’s was someone who struggled with the physical distance that existed between her and her partner. Here’s how Dr. Patti described that situation: 

“One other client was an older widowed woman, Martha (again, not her real name). She was in a long-distance relationship many miles away and during Covid-19. Martha and her lover had separated just prior to the lockdown. What happened was what’s common for many people during this pandemic, with the ensuing lockdown isolation and social distancing that has occurred.  

Martha found herself very isolated and alone in the first few weeks. With a deep longing for human contact she kept herself connected with a steady stream of texts, Zoom and phone calls from friends and family who really cared. This was common during the first part of Covid-19 for many of us.  

For Martha, because her lover never responded or initiated more than once a week during this very intense phase, when days stretched into weeks, and even months, she felt as though she wasn’t valued or important to her lover. It occurred to her one day that—despite the love that she felt for this person—the idea of sustaining a long distance relationship and possibly not seeing this person for many months during a world crisis was not enough to sustain the energy of a lover. 

She quit by text, the modern method today, and they agreed this would never work. She realized that love is an action and that love is not enough to keep a relationship alive in the era of Covid.”

The Effect of Covid on Sex Around the World

Due to these newfound issues arising in many sex coaching sessions, Sex Coach U decided to conduct an international survey in cooperation with the World Association of Sex Coaches (WASC) in order to better understand what was happening for people around the globe. The survey ran from April 15, 2020 until June 5, 2020, and we received 921 responses. 

Among the data we found trends pertaining to increased anxiety and stress, a small change in fantasies involving reuniting with a partner, and creative ways partners are connecting at a distance. 

Overall, the data suggests that although there has been an increase in stress and anxiety, people in relationships are finding ways to manage. Single people are suffering more acute loneliness, but all around we are all discovering creative and innovative ways to meet our needs and take care of each other. 

To read the full report, click here.

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