In 2019, the World Association for Sexual Health (WAS) presented their Sexual Pleasure Declaration as a call to action to the World Congress in Mexico City. This historical declaration states that sexual pleasure is amongst our rights as human beings, along with safety and health. It urges governments and institutions to promote sexual pleasure as foundational to sexual health. This declaration was the first to officially identify and include pleasure in the fight for sexual freedom.
In celebration of this important landmark declaration, the theme for this year’s World Sexual Health Day is…
Let’s Talk Pleasure!
At Sex Coach U, our values are in line with the WAS declaration—we believe that pleasure is an essential ingredient to sexual health and freedom! Pleasure is at the center of our work as helping professionals in the sexuality space.
So we decided to ask our vibrant community of students and practicing sex coaches—“What role does pleasure play in your work?”
Please enjoy reading their inspiring and beautiful responses below:
Pleasure is Soul Care
“Pleasure is feeling safe and trusting to take in the enjoyable sensations and emotions in the moment. It does not come at the expense and/or harm of another. Pleasure is soul-care. As a sex coach, sexuality health educator, and positive psychology practitioner, pleasure is essential to all aspects of my work. I believe that pleasure is emblematic of flourishing and wellbeing.”
– Liz Kessler, Sex Coach In Training, Positive Psychology Practitioner, Sexuality Educator, email@example.com
Use All Your Senses to Experience Pleasure
“My role is to get people to prioritize their pleasure and to expand their definition of sex to include pleasure. It’s not just about PIV sex but incorporating massage, spanking, foods that excite you, smells that light up your senses and sounds that delight you. Use all of your senses to experience pleasure daily.
– Renée Yvonne, Certified Sex Counselor and Clinical Sexologist, The GEN Sexologist
We’re All on a Pleasure Journey
“Our society has taken pleasure and systematically turned it into a shame and blame game, which has led us to associate pleasure with guilt. My role as a sex coach is to flip that narrative upside down and promote a new narrative. My job is to support, not only my clients, but also the general public, to recognize, release, and reconnect. Recognize that pleasure is an important and necessary component of who we are, release the guilt and shame, and reconnect with our pleasure centers. Assisting others on this pleasure journey is key in helping them open up to new and amazing sexual experiences.”
– Carli Guzowski, SCU Student, Sex Coach and Clinical Sexologist in Training
The Pursuit of Pleasure is Noble Work
“I believe it is our role to seek out and embody pleasure as deeply as possible in all aspects of our lives, so that we may model to our clients: 1) that pleasure is attainable, 2) that we are all worthy of it and 3) that the pursuit of it is our most noble of all life’s work. But it starts with us. You can’t give away what you don’t yet have!”
– Sarah Weis, Certified Relationship Coach & Clinical Sexologist in training
We Encourage the Evolution of Pleasure
“Pleasure is unique & diverse. It’s not our calling to tell clients what pleasure is for them but to encourage our clients to experience and evolve their pleasure to their fullest extent in a healthy, consensual manner.”
– Nora deGrasse, CPA, Clinical Sexologist in training, Founder & CEO of Be Sexcessfull
What Ignites the Pleasure Within?
“Pleasure is the main focal point for the work I do with women. Most women now-a-days have vibrators and other tools to help them reach orgasm, but do they really know what physical sensations ignite the pleasure within? The role of pleasure within sex coaching is crucial in helping the women I work with slow down, understand their bodies and communicate their desires to their partners.”
– Aubrey Moore, Certified Sex & Intimacy Coach
Pleasure is Our North Star
“Pleasure is the touchstone that directs all of our client work. Mismatched Libido? Focus on pleasure with your partner. Performance Anxiety? How can we reframe it to focus on pleasure instead of performance? Body changing as we age? What does pleasure look like now, and even if it is different from how it used to look, how can we find pleasure in that?
It feels a bit reductive maybe when I say it this way, and there is certainly more nuance to each of these situations, but it is also true! Pleasure is the north star by which we can guide our clients towards greater satisfaction in their lives. Whenever someone contacts us for coaching, it is almost always because in some way, shape, or form, they have lost contact with pleasure, and it is up to us to help them find their way back to it; to embrace pleasure in their life once more.
On a personal level, as coaches, we use pleasure to keep us grounded in our values and connected to our goals in our work as clinicians. Pleasure allows us to refresh and refill our own reservoir of energy, so that we can be effective coaches for our clients on their journeys.
In short, pleasure is everything.”
– Kincaid McMinn, Certified Sex Coach and Clinical Sexologist
Choosing Pleasure & Showing Up
“Pleasure is an integral part to what we do as sex coaches. When people are willing to let go of the barriers, pain, and fear holding them back from their goals, a beautiful opportunity arises to fill that space with something new. When our clients choose pleasure they are learning new tools and ways of showing up not just for intercourse but in the world.”
– Kaci Mial, M.Ed., CSC, Pregnancy Sex Educator & Coach
What if We Were Taught to Receive Pleasure?
“Being a certified sex coach, I work with many who have a challenging time with the concept of pleasure. I’ll never forget the first time a client asked me, “Why is pleasure important?”
I’ve worked with many women in particular over the years who grew up with a deep shame around their bodies (mostly from religion and mainstream media), so the concept of being able to receive pleasure from touching their bodies is challenging. Many of my clients’ bodies are numb for one reason or another (including my own many moons ago), how could they take the time to feel pleasure?
We are not taught how important it is for us to even RECEIVE, let alone to receive pleasure. So for my clients, I have them start at the beginning, becoming reacquainted with all of their senses. I do this through Intentional Creativity, sensual movement, breathwork and having them use their Intuition. I help them learn or relearn about self love, self expression, desire, and have them look at their relationships both with themselves and others. Through the time I work with clients, we slowly dissolve the numbness so that they can feel all of their body’s joy and be present to how they feel in their hearts in order to fully experience pleasure; in doing so, they are eventually able to experience great joy and bliss during sex,
Think of how different it would be if we were taught to receive sexual pleasure; the world would be a much happier place…
So my advice to anyone reading this is to take responsibility for your own pleasure. If you don’t know where to start, start with yourself. Learn what makes you feel good, then pursue a conversation with yourself & your lover(s).”
– Dominique Peters, Certified Sex Coach, Certified Intetional Creativity Teacher, Certified Tantra Coach
Learn more about using pleasure as a sex coach:
- Empowering Women to Self Pleasure
- 13 Ways to Help Clients Keep Calm & Experience More Pleasure
- How to Use Pleasure Products to Address Your Clients’ Concerns
Clearly, the role of pleasure is HUGE in the work of sex coaches. It’s truly at the heart and center of our clinical work, and beyond.
Do you have a burning desire to contribute to work that centers sexual pleasure? Consider attending one of SCU’s Live Info Sessions to learn more about launching a new career as a sex coach.
And don’t forget to check out more information about World Sexual Health Day, taking place on September 4th, 2022.