My journey from Fitness Instructor to Sex Coach was easier than I anticipated. I went from never having worked out to becoming a fitness instructor, and from there, expanding into an entirely new niche market: sex coaching. I’ve discovered a number of uncanny parallels between the two professions and I continually enjoy cross-over clientele.
I’d like to encourage you to open your mind to exploring how to integrate your (other) hobbies and passions into your current or future sex coaching career.
Tell me everything… it can only help.
“My vibrator stopped working.”
This is what my personal training client told me this morning as she finished her second set of squats.
“Wow, girl! You use it so much that it broke?! Or do you mean it just needs to be charged?”
“No,” she said. “It’s not *doing it* for me anymore.”
“Well, let’s move on to shoulder presses and you can tell me what’s going on that’s keeping you from getting that *O*. Whatever it is could also be affecting your workout today. We might need to schedule a different kind of session. Grab your dumbbells.”
I hate sweating.
When I became involved in fitness, it was because I accidentally fell in love with it after having children. I was never on any sports team or in dance classes as a child. My family couldn’t afford those activities and I was no fan of team competition. I never worked out as a young woman. Even though I was genetically thin, I hated physical exertion. In fact, I despised “struggling” in front of people and feeling weak; that’s how I used to perceive fitness. But I knew that exercise was a crucial (and absent) component of my overall health as an adult.
Like many women, I didn‘t recognize myself after having children. I went to my local YMCA and found myself flourishing during group exercise classes despite the physical discomfort of becoming fit. I loved chatting with and casually (or enthusiastically) encouraging the people working around me to enjoy themselves. The fitness director approached me to become certified as an instructor and then a trainer because of my natural ability to connect with my peers.
Personal training led to life coaching, and that led to sex coaching as I realized that empowering people to face their challenges (in the gym or in the bedroom) is my life’s passion. Looking back, it all feels seamless. I’ve come to realize that when you love what you do and you’re excited about what’s possible, “work” doesn’t need to feel like work.
I Had No Idea How Similar Fitness Training & Sex Coaching Are…
As a personal trainer, I hear all about my clients’ lives. When I meet them, I take an initial assessment of their physical fitness and abilities, but I also do a thorough intake of their stress levels, work life, home life, diet/digestive and sleep habits, and emotional and sexual satisfaction levels. It’s a lot of information for people to share but it’s integral to understand the full picture of their lives when attending to their physical goals. The intake form I use as a Certified Sex Coach™ (in training) is similar in many respects.
When I became a life coach, I was instructed how to administer an assessment for coaching. I immediately recognized the similarities between coaching and fitness assessments . Knowing the details of my clients’ lives encourages transparency and fosters mutual trust in the coach/client relationship. Whether it’s personal training or sex coaching, having a clear picture of my clients’ lives allows me to choose the appropriate exercises to help steer them toward their goals. I started to imagine a career where both professions could be used in tandem… and I loved it!
“Sex coaching? What’s that?”
While many of my fitness clients would never have considered sex coaching necessary *before* working out with me, the cross-over between my dual professions is notable as, more than once, my sex coaching clients have hired me as their personal trainer. After all, physical health, fitness, and body image can play major roles in sexual satisfaction.
Clients feel stuck and hire me when they realize that despite all the free help on the internet, a real person holding space just for them and their needs is the best way to achieve their goals.
You can’t use a nail file and a can opener at the same time.
The two careers mesh well as long as boundaries are clear where one begins and the other ends. As I navigate the creation of my niche and figure out how to merge both sets of clientele into my life, boundaries and expectations are everything. When a sexual issue comes up during a workout, I refer my client to make a separate appointment to really get to the bottom of their issue. I give enough advice in the moment to let them know I can help without providing them with ALL the answers. Because how could I?
In the same way I couldn’t provide an effective exercise routine to a sex coaching client in a seated Zoom call, I can’t “fix” a sex issue during a workout. But that doesn’t mean it’s not a great place to tease out issues that desperately need individualized attention.
Fitness issues need to be approached from a trainer perspective and sexual issues need to be dealt with through a sex coach’s lens. Like a Swiss Army knife, the tools are far less effective when more than one is extended at the same time. But the more professional tools I have, the more valuable (and helpful) I can be to my clients and to the world.
Be the best you, in the gym, bedroom, and sex coaching session!
The joy in personal training has always been witnessing clients overcome an obstacle that seemed insurmountable at first. Their bodies change, but it’s their mindset that really sticks out to me. I can speak firsthand about discovering my potential at the gym and how it transformed my life in every possible way! We are capable of so much more than we give ourselves credit for, whether in the studio/gym, in the bedroom, or as we create the careers of our dreams.
Sex Coach U has given me resources and accountability I need to get the certification to formalize my sex coaching career. I don’t need to leave behind the fitness training career I’ve built over the last decade in order to follow this new path of sex coaching! I was able to take my fitness career experience and, rather than leave it behind (as I thought I’d have to once I launched my sex coaching practice), I found ways of integrating clients in both directions.
Now when my single mom client confides in me, all sweaty and out of breath (after killing a descending superset of burpees), that the idea of having “the talk” with her adolescent daughter fills her with panic, or my 30-something male client asks me if there’s anything he can “do” to last longer in bed with his girlfriend, I tell them I know exactly how to help. If they trust me with their fitness goals, their sexual concerns are just as easily conquered.
So what are your hobbies? What are your passions in life? What could you talk about for hours and how could any of those enjoyable aspects of your life be applied to sexology or your career as a sex coach? Do you love animals? Can you integrate a pet into your practice? Maybe you love art? Surrounding yourself with your favorite works or incorporating artistic expression in your sessions might be possible.
If you are comfortable doing so, marketing yourself as a sex coach within your hobby groups might help bring in clients who share your passion. Be it obstacle racing, role playing/gaming, or your book club, you can find potential clients anywhere! People everywhere need your help. And when you love what you do, you’ll never work a day in your life!
Keep in Touch
Sex Coaches come from many different backgrounds, and the way these backgrounds inform our work is fascinating. To keep in touch with these diverse and expansive community, make sure you join the SCU Newsletter for more news and more articles from the community!