This is the third in a series of articles about the astrology of sexuality. The first thing to understand about sexual astrology is, well—it’s complicated. A deeper analysis of an individual’s psyche, desire nature, kinks and attractions considers the houses of the natal chart, the placement of Venus and Mars and their relationship to the Sun and other planets, amongst other details.

But there is a LOT to dive into when we simply use Sun sign astrology—for which all you need to know is someone’s birthday. As Sex Coaches, astrological insight into a client’s energy and personality is invaluable. The Sun is the heart of our natal fingerprint and it shines its revealing and singular light on the rest of our horoscope. When you want to understand what drives someone’s erotic nature, you should understand the Sun first. That’s why Sun sign-based relationship astrology is the stuff of legend, going back to Linda Goodman’s Love Signs in the 1970s.

We can do without the antiquated gender stereotypes of that era, however. This is love and sex sign astrology for the true Age of Pisces—where we are wholly inclusive, embracing the LGBTQI+ and non-binary spectrum. No matter how we identify, we were all born with the Sun in a particular sign, and so were the humans we love (or hope to love and/or touch).

Pisces: The Empathic Illusionist

Born: February 18— March 21


Symbol: The Fish

Planetary Ruler: Neptune (modern) and Jupiter (traditional)

Element: Water

Modality: Mutable

Pisces rules the feet and the lymphatic system.


What is Pisces energy like? It’s fantastical, glamorous, mystical, compassionate and just a little bit confusing. If you long to experience the sensation of gliding through a soft, alluring pink fog where the material world recedes and dreams take over, find yourself a Pisces loverthey’ll take you on a magical mystery tour that you’ll never forget—and may never want to end.

As the very last sign of the zodiac, Pisces is where the end is the beginning. In some ways, they contain all the knowledge of all the signs that came before them in their sponge-like psyches. It’s as if the axis mundi is tattooed on their souls. (In shamanic cultures, the axis mundi or cosmic axis is thought to be a sacred site where heaven meets earth.)

Neptune, the planetary ruler of Pisces, is not a big fan of the harsh light of reality. He’s the dream-weaver, the escape artist, and the magic-maker all rolled into one. At his highest vibration, Neptune is deeply creative and healing. At his lower vibration, he’s deceptivea bit of a snake-oil salesman. This type of Pisces is more rare, and when you do find them in the wild, just remember, they’re likely trying to be everyone’s go-to guru simply to hide from their own pain. But redemption is possible for even the slipperiest Fish.

Pisces’ legendary compassion is something truly special to behold, but it can drain them considerably unless they’ve learned how to wield it in a healthy way. Don’t assume they’ve got an infinite well of empathy that magically refreshes itself like an enchanted spring, because there can be consequences from all that endless caretaking. After a day of being out in the world, at home with the kids, or just working online, their unwavering sensitivity can leave them exhausted, spent, and wrung out.

They don’t merely witness others’ suffering, they feel it as if it’s happening to them. But they may have no idea how to put their own oxygen mask on first. This is something they need to learn over time, and you might be required to help teach this lesson after your Pisces once again gives away all your money to the ASPCA because they saw that sad commercial with the homeless dogs and had to do something to help or they would literally die that very instant.

They want to save you, but if they haven’t dealt with their own pain and trauma, there will always be an imbalance. Some Pisces have a guru-complex, but it’s usually anchored in their own need to be rescued. They might blame you for not showing up even when you’re right there in front of them. Sometimes a Pisces who’s been hurt too many times can turn to addictions to blunt their own trauma and the traumas they’ve absorbed from their loved ones. The constant need for escape is real, but having safe, healthy outlets for this drive is absolutely necessary.

Relationship Energy

Pisces fall in love easily—they don’t just love to be in love, they need to be in love. They feel like empty, useless vessels unless their capacity to love is being tapped.

They are besotted by old-school ideas of romance, long courtships, poetry, whispered sweet nothings—and yet as slippery fish, they are definitely not always traditional about commitment. This doesn’t mean they’re disloyal or prone to cheat. It simply means that this mutable water sign can love you fully and openly and with their entire heart, yet also feel exactly the same thing about another person at the same time.

To them, that’s not cheating, it’s just that they can’t stop their hearts from opening continually. They still love all their lovers, past, present and future, with their whole souls—even the creeps. Polyamory and other forms of consensual nonmonogamy are a perfect fit for Pisces people. Aim to openly communicate about relationship boundaries early, just so there is no confusion, especially if you’re strict about monogamy.

As much as a Pisces lives to rescue all creatures, including stray animals, lost children, and needy strangers, they can lose focus on their current lovers after mopping the brows of everyone else. Their spigot of compassion doesn’t have an off switch, but by the time they come home to you, they can be totally wrung dry. In this way, you might find that your Pisces is a bit needier than you signed up for when you first met, when they showered you with endless affection and looked at you like you were a god or goddess.

You may be surprised to learn that casual sex is not anathema to this romance-obsessed sign. Who’s to say they can’t fall madly in love in one night or after one hour of deep conversation at the bar? Pisces one-night-stands can turn into life-long loves, however. The thing is, for a Pisces to want to sleep with you, even casually, they have to be able to see the best in you. They idealize everyone, even their Tinder matches. Before they want you, they need to make you into a kind of god.

Pisces’ opposite is Virgo, a sign associated with discretion, details, and discernment. These are the tools that your average Pisces might seem to lack, and this can cause trouble when this shadow energy makes them feel like they have to overcompensate.

Pisces brings that beautiful mess and Virgo swoops in with the vacuum and hand sanitizer. But given this, a Pisces might not at first see your quirks, failings, and imperfections as they envelop you in a pink fog of dreamy idealization. The end of the honeymoon stage is a normal and expected development for all adult relationships, but this can be extremely jarring for a Pisces. When the illusion of an idyllic romance is shattered, they might feel like they were deceived—even if they projected all the glamour themselves. What they have to learn over time is that they likely pulled the wool over their own eyes yet again. 

You may be a major skeptic about all things metaphysical, but if you fall for a Pisces, you might just begin to believe in reincarnation, because you won’t be able to shake the sensation that you’ve met this magical soul before.

The Pisces Desire Matrix

two Pisces women holding each other close

Photo by Ivan Samkov from Pexels

The urge to merge is the prime mover of Pisces. They desire connection at a spiritual level, so that both partners can feel as if they left their bodies behind. Sex for a Pisces, solo or partnered, should wash the world away—all the fear, pain, trauma, and worry.

There is something extremely erotic about a sign that feels EVERYTHING—every vibe, every nuance of emotion, every single sensation. But the thing about Pisces is that even though they live in human bodies, they’re not really OF their bodies. In other words, they’re so transcendent, even in everyday life, they may feel like they’re above and beyond mundane notions of sex.

That said, as much as they’re primarily attuned to energy, when they physically engage, they are so sensitive they can melt into an orgasmic pool from the lightest touch. This is not a sign that expects their partners to do anything particularly complicated or to have enormous experience with sophisticated technique.

That can’t hurt, of course, but a Pisces won’t kick you out of bed for not being perfect—as long as they can feel your vibes, lack of experience is totally fine with a Fish. And one of the great joys of being with a Pisces is that their scary spot-on intuition can help them anticipate what you might want next. This is not an excuse to stop communicating, but it’s a sweet little side bonus with this sign.

Ultimately, a Pisces needs to feel that their partner needs them, almost like they’d die without that connection. This is because the Pisces feels as if they might actually die without merging with their love object, so they project this need onto their partner.

Even a domesticated Pisces in a long-term relationship still needs to weave magic to feel an erotic charge. Once the reality of the day-to-day sets in, they may look for escape hatches. You must have fresh pixie dust in the pantry to sprinkle on a regular basis, just to keep them from zoning out of your connection and into something that feels temporarily more compelling.

Pisces have more capacity for fantasy than any other sign. They can visualize just about anything and dream it into existence. This is a superb skill for both single Fish turning themselves on for solo sessions, or for partnered Pisces in need of stimulation. They love shared fantasies that go on for days, involving elaborate stories and role-play, especially if the driver of the narrative is that they are deeply loved. Even if the fantasy is dirty as all get-out, that deep, loving connection should be at the center of it.

Getting Down with a Pisces

Raw physicality and athletic sex doesn’t interest Pisces much—deep energetic and emotional connections are what turn them on. This is the kind of sign that can get off just from staring into your eyes or sending you messages across time and space. They are experts in psychic seduction; no one does it better. There is no sign that is more sensitive to everything you think and feel, and probably a lot of things you don’t even consciously know that you feel.

Even though dating apps are not their preferred method for meeting people, Pisces are somehow able to tune into people via text, email, and direct message. And if you do a first date via Zoom, they’re remarkably talented at feeling into your psyche in ways even your therapist can’t always do. If you’re not ready to be seen and cared for, you’re not ready for a Pisces interaction.

Although Pisces are usually more interested in connecting to your soul than your body, they’re surprisingly fond of taboo eroticism. Pisces is associated with the 12th house of the natal chart, the ruler of dreams, secrets, and other hidden things. We know they’re dream weavers, but Pisces may have a few secrets of their own, too, and they enjoy the idea that their trysts are not necessarily for prime time.

They prefer sex that feels like an escape from the everyday.  For Pisces, getting off is not scratching an itch, it’s fulfilling a spiritual need to connect with the collective unconscious and heal themselves as they heal the world. That might feel like a lot of pressure for any partner to a Pisces, but just note that this all goes on inside their heads—all you have to do is show up and be truly present for the experience.

On the purely physical level, pay attention to their sensitive feet. Foot massage and play can really turn them on, even something as simple as playing footsie under the table during a meal. If you’re so inclined, taking care of your own feet (doing regular pedicures, etc.) is a big turn-on for your Pisces. If you want to get your Pisces a gift they’ll adore you for, you can’t go wrong with a reflexology session.

This might seem like a cliché, but in this case, water sign equals water sports. More than their sister water signs Cancer and Scorpio, Pisces really like to get wet. A nice warm tub with a few drops of an aphrodisiac essential oil can be the perfect spot for foreplay or the whole shebang. Showering each other off after sex also hits the Pisces sweet spot. They won’t say no to a hot tub or a romp in the sea, if you happen to find yourself at the beach with your friendly Fish.

For Pisces, sex should be magic, never mundane. It’s not fulfilling what they perceive to be a physical or biological drive (even though, of course, it is). If your partner is a Pisces, you must make them feel like they are your sole conduit to magic—that when you plug into them, you’re connecting to divine inspiration. This can make for out of this world, mind-blowing orgasms that seem to knock the world off its axis in the best possible way.

Most Compatible Signs

Sister water signs Cancer and Scorpio just get it—they’ve been down that emotional road and are fluent in the moody and dramatic roiling of the seas that Pisces cannot swim away from. This is the kind of match that flows just because being seen and understood is so vital to the  happiness of all the water signs. It can become a problem when the emotional overload and processing gets to be too much for everyone involved, however. But the sex in these pairings is off the charts.

Pisces also vibe well with earth signs like Taurus and Capricorn, matches that keep the Fish grounded and tethered to reality and the material realm. Virgo can be a perfect “opposites attract” match, however the shadow dancing can get a bit intense, and the Virgoan tendency to criticize can hurt a sensitive Pisces’ feelings beyond the point of repair.

Air sign Gemini is a challenging yet rewarding option for a Fish, as is fire sign Sagittarius. Both of these mutable signs are at a hard angle to Pisces planets, but there is much to be learned from these conflicts, especially about the need for verbal communication. These signs can teach the Pisces how to use their words, rather than just hoping their partners hear their thoughts.

The Pisces Bottom Line

If you’ve ever dated, married, slept with, or even just made out with a Pisces, you’re imprinted with their energy forever and vice-versa. No matter how ephemeral the connection, they’ll never forget you in this lifetime or the next few. Allowing yourself to experience a Fish can feel like touching the hand of the goddess—it’s a kind of spiritual awakening, even if you weren’t looking for one.

Pisces tend to be the ones who got away—the ones their exes can’t help but think about again and again, as if a ghostly vestige of them can never be fully purged. This can be either comforting or frustrating, depending on your own situation and planetary placements. No sign better understands the phrase “we are all one.” That’s because a Pisces really cannot tell where they end and you begin. Thus spoke a Pisces: “Boundaries? What are those?”

Pisces is the sign of the true empath, but they can fall into a kind of victim/martyr consciousness where they feel as if they’re being left over and over again at their time of greatest need. Projection about abandonment can be extremely intense before your Pisces has done their own emotional work. Those old wounds won’t magically heal; this requires the proper tools.

With a Pisces, the material world is immaterial, but glamour oozes out of their every pore. They can make you feel like you’re living on a Hollywood movie set, replete with elaborate costumes, dramatic storylines, and mist-machines filling up every scene of your life. Alternatively you might feel like you’re living on an ashram with your own personal guru/healer. Either way, it’s transportive and transcendental.

If you’re craving a divine spark, in need of whimsy, and ready to follow your bliss wherever it leads, you’re ready for a Pisces lover. When you need a miracle every day, this is the sign most likely to manifest that spectacular magic over and over and over again.