This is the sixth in a series of articles about the astrology of sexuality. The first thing to understand about sexual astrology is, well—it’s complicated. A deeper analysis of an individual’s psyche, desire nature, kinks and attractions considers the houses of the natal chart, the placement of Venus and Mars and their relationship to the Sun and other planets, amongst other details.
But there is a LOT to dive into when we simply use Sun sign astrology—for which all you need to know is someone’s birthday. As Sex Coaches, astrological insight into a client’s energy and personality is invaluable. The Sun is the heart of our natal fingerprint and it shines its revealing and singular light on the rest of our horoscope. When you want to understand what drives someone’s erotic nature, you should understand the Sun first. That’s why Sun sign-based relationship astrology is the stuff of legend, going back to Linda Goodman’s Love Signs in the 1970s.
We can do without the antiquated gender stereotypes of that era, however. This is love and sex sign astrology for the true Age of Aquarius—where we are wholly inclusive, embracing the LGBTQI+ and non-binary spectrum. No matter how we identify, we were all born with the Sun in a particular sign, and so were the humans we love (or hope to love and/or touch).
Gemini: The Flirtatious Genius
Born: May 21 — June 21
Motto: I THINK
Symbol: The Twins
Planetary Ruler: Mercury
Gemini rules the shoulders, arms, hands, and lungs.
What is Gemini energy like? It’s brilliant, brainy, fast-paced, impulsive, flexible, and flirtatious AF. This is the sign of the Twins, and that angel/devil dynamic plays out quite regularly with this sign. No sign is better informed and au courant than Gemini—these cosmic players inhale and share the latest in news, world events, trends, and social media memes as if they do not know sleep.
In fact, this sign can struggle with insomnia because their minds are always racing and they hate to turn off their phones, lest they miss some breaking story from The Washington Post or an Instagram post from a gossip influencer. Information has a way of making them feel safe and alive.
Let’s take a moment to wholly debunk the pop theory that all Geminis are liars, psychotics, or some other unfortunate and untrue stereotype. As an astrologer, I have never fully understood why Gemini and Scorpio have achieved such notorious reputations as the “worst” signs. All signs have shadow and light, good and bad, highs and lows and in-betweens. Stop saying “I won’t date a Gemini” because that’s just silly. Geminis are incredible humans and if you haven’t gotten to know any, maybe this essay will change your mind.
The Geminis in your life have the best social media game of any other sign. Their posts are on-point and they seem to use neologisms before you’ve even heard of them. They have an eternal teenager vibe that can help you to feel young again, whether they’re Gen X Gems or Zoomer Gems.
Twin folks had Tiktok on their phone while you were still figuring out how to use Instagram. They can freestyle on high and low culture with equal skill, but as gossip-lovers, they’ll linger on the low and won’t feel ashamed for knowing all the recent dating escapades of every Real Housewife ever on Bravo. Wanna know what to put next in your Netflix queue, which novel to read this summer, or who trended on Twitter today? Text your nearest Gemini.
The first of the three intellectual air signs, Gemini comes at you with their mind first, not their body or their emotional body, for that matter. They think before they feel, which is not to say they lack intuition. They’re so damn smart and well-informed that they sometimes seem to know the future. A Gemini’s thoughts come so quickly that they often finish their friends and partners’ sentences. When they’re alone, they talk to themselves and they don’t think it’s weird, so you shouldn’t either.
Gemini’s opposite sign is Sagittarius, and that’s where all the data bits hungrily collected by the Twins are distilled into a deeper wisdom and broader philosophical takes. This is not to say that Gemini is short on takes—they have plenty of them and they’ll expound on them on the page, in Twitter threads, or at a dinner party. The difference is that a Gemini can get distracted and turned around by additional information, and sticking to the original point of departure doesn’t always come naturally to them.
The most verbally astute of all the signs, even Geminis who haven’t pursued higher education will strike you as potential literary geniuses. They mastered the art of communication at a young age, and even when they use fewer words (rare) you’ll definitely get the message. Geminis are often writers or work in media of some sort, from publishing to marketing to public relations.
You’ll also find plenty of thespians and politicians born under the sign of the Twins. They’re consummate salespeople, able to convince you that the brand they’re hawking will change your life. They do this so well because of their raw enthusiasm: you can feel their excitement about any project, idea, or product. Once they start talking, they believe their own hype.
Geminis must have fairly constant mental stimulation or quickly lose interest in a project or person. They adore a constantly updated news scroll, even if it’s just you standing there talking to them. They crave facts and data the way some of us crave affection. Don’t be surprised if you find out that your Gemini was “mothered” by their television or Internet connection in childhood, creating a sense of emotional contentment and security they didn’t get from their parents. They have “news daddies” and “news moms” on CNN and probably fantasized about anchoring their own news desk at some point.
Mercury, the planet made famous for throwing our lives into chaos with its thrice-yearly retrogrades, is the ruler of Gemini, giving Twins their penchant for fidgeting and nervous excitement (Mercury rules the central nervous system). In the Roman pantheon, Mercury was the winged messenger god, and Gemini is widely considered to be the most bisexual sign, as its ruler Mercury is neither a masculine or feminine planet like all the rest. I haven’t seen anyone refer to Mercury as a “they” so far in my travels, but it feels an appropriate pronoun for a planet that seamlessly embodies both the feminine and masculine and doesn’t get stuck on labels.
Gemini Relationship Energy
If you meet a Gemini in the wild, say at a party, bar, or in a park, you’ll notice that they are the center of gravity of any conversation they’re involved in. This is their artform, their raison d’etre, and the way they achieve their goals. If your aim is to snag a Gemini, you must be at once quick (and quick-witted) and patient, as they will circle the room a number of times before ascertaining that you’re the most fascinating person in their orbit of flirtation. Don’t one up them; allow them to be the evening’s MC and orator. But here’s how to grab their attention: be equally as adept at talking a good game. Geminis were born with game: you must figure out a way to match theirs without stepping on it.
Although the Twins’ fear of boredom can make them less likely candidates for committed one-to-one partnerships, Geminis are not anti-relationship—they love relationships, and lots of them! When Internet dating was invented, Geminis were early adopters. Chatting and flirting and using their ample erudition to line up dates via keyboard strokes? What could be better! When dating via desktop became dating via app in the last decade or so, the Geminis of this world didn’t skip a beat. Keeping multiple conversations going on at once, all accessible with a swipe of their nimble fingers—there couldn’t be anything more appropriate for this sign.
Certain Geminis, when absolutely smitten by how impressive you are, will eventually settle down and completely give you (both of) themselves. They’re excellent at having multiple ongoing relationships with the same partner, because depending on the minute of the day, you might find yourself talking to one twin or the other. One of the magical things about partnering with a Gemini is that tangoing with the Twins can help bring out sides of yourself you didn’t even know were there. They contain multitudes, and if you spend enough time with them, you’ll discover your own myriad possibilities.
Where Taurus, the sign before Gemini, takes pleasure first in the body (yours and their own), the Twins are all about seducing you with their mind first. They’ll spend all the time it takes to impress you with their wit and wisdom. They’ll drop perfectly tailored witticisms at the ideal moment, tell you what happened on the news in the last hour, and impress you with how well-read they are.
Unlike their zodiacal predecessor the Bull, Gemini wants to communicate and communicate some more. You might get to the point where you have to shout, SHUT UP AND KISS ME. If you’re into staying up all night and talking, the Gemini is so there for you. Every syllable is a kind of sex act for them, anyway.
The secret to deepening a relationship with this sign and going beneath the fun, slick, shiny surface is to show them you can take their data bits and string them together to create real, lasting wisdom. After you’ve proven you can keep up with them, the next step is showing them you’re one step ahead. Gemini has trouble focusing on one subject for long, so if you’re capable of sticking with a theme until you’re a master instead of a dilettante, they’ll remain wide-eyed and love-struck for the long-haul.
Being in a long-term relationship with a Gem requires adaptability and a lack of jealousy. Your Twin will flirt with everyone, all the time, right in front of you. They’ll flirt with your kid’s teacher, the server in the restaurant where you’re sharing a romantic dinner, with the air-conditioner salesperson and the dog-walker and probably the dog. They just cannot help but flirt, as they were born to do this. If you understand that this is part of the package, you’ll be fine. And if you’re open to consensual non-monogamy from the get-go—even better.
The Gemini Desire Matrix
Gemini desire comes first as a thought, and second as an embodied longing. Sexology tells us that the brain is the most important sex organ, and in the case of the Twins, this is wholly defining. It’s not that they have trouble connecting to their bodies like Aquarius, the air sign that comes before them—it’s more that they must mentally process desire before those signals reach their body. I THINK is their key phrase, and “I think I want this” is the way into their desire matrix.
Words are the Gemini’s biggest turn-on. They are the true “cunning linguists” of the zodiac. Having a big vocabulary is more important than any specific sexual skill. They know that everything can be studied and learned and they’re not averse to hitting the books to make sure they know how to get you off. They’re turned on by their own words, too. As they weave a web of banter and get verbal feedback from you, each turn of phrase turns on their desire. Whether you’re straight-up sexting or chatting about who won the Nobel Prize for literature, it’s all fodder for a Gemini’s desire, which will expand with each brilliant tidbit you trade. Their brand of eroticism is endlessly inquisitive.
If a Gemini is starting to think they might want you, they’ll slide into your DM’s and try to pique your curiosity, so be ready to trade some witty repartee. Some Geminis will surprise you by going super old school and calling you on the phone, because they want to suss out your wittiness beyond the keyboard— can you keep up with them voice-to-voice? If you don’t feel like a clever conversationalist, bolster your skills somehow because keeping up with your Gemini’s frenetic verbal pace is important to this lively seduction dance.
But if you are the pursuer, you can write your way into a Gemini’s bed. They love nothing more than receiving a mischievous one-line text without a period that poses some kind of open-ended question or hints at something fun. If there is an evening date planned, start texting when you wake up, and keep that conversation going. Show off your smarts by dropping links about news, books, or cool under-the-radar cultural events. Even if you live with your Gemini, text them when they go downstairs for breakfast to keep the connection alive. You’ll remind them that you love them this way.
Getting Down with a Gemini
There is only one rule for spending romantic or sexual time with a Gemini: MIX. IT. UP. The vibe must be constantly refreshed. If you’re making plans, those plans have to be flexible and there should be backups. Think of a hot date with a Gemini as an open-ended experiment. If you’re eating out, it’s best not to make reservations, because your Gemini would probably prefer to stroll down the block checking out menus before settling on a restaurant. After dinner, know that the night could go ANYWHERE, and have a few options on your list to keep the entertainment flowing. Just keep them constantly stimulated.
If you’re in the early stages of dating a Gemini, and you haven’t yet consummated your budding attraction, note that they can be pretty handsy. They’ll touch you a lot, extending their verbal flirtation from their brain to their fingertips. You might feel an electric current coming from their digits—this is just their brainpower lighting you up.
This sign’s rulership over the shoulders, arms, and hands gives their appendages a special quality—they’re often long and limber or otherwise noticeable. Once you’re in bed with them, you may notice that they know how to use their hands to play you like a piano. And they’ll appreciate it if you are also adept at hand-jobs of all sorts. If you’re not big into what fingers and fists can do, study up!
Getting entangled in your Gemini’s exquisite arms and letting them work you with their beautiful yet useful hands is truly an experience. Some people talk with their hands, and in bed, Geminis know how to communicate with theirs better than most other signs. This is one of the rare moments when they may not be using actual words to woo you, although if they combine their handiwork with their verbal skills, that takes things to a whole other level. If you want to get them to shut up for a second at any given moment, in or out of bed, try taking one of their hands and gently kissing it. It’s like a pacifier for a baby.
The amazing conversation you’ve carried on with your Gemini doesn’t have to stop once you’ve taken off your clothes. In fact, Geminis love talking throughout the entire act. They love hearing what you want, telling you what they want, talking dirty, and joking and laughing when sex gets awkward. They’re definitely not the silent type when it comes to conveying their pleasure, and even after you’ve both orgasmed, your Gemini will likely start up a new conversation or want to verbally dissect the sex you just had.
It should be obvious by now that Gemini’s love language is… language. So if you wake up horny, sometimes all you have to do is read to them. Open up The New York Times (via app or grab the paper), find a juicy story, and read it aloud, letting your Gemini hear you enunciate each word. They also love to read to you. They’re not against poetry, but they’d prefer to convey information, not metaphor.
Do you love lots of unplanned quickies? Then you’ll love sexing a Gemini, because they are masters of that art. Variety is important, as well, so changing positions, trying new toys, new locations, new techniques, new anything—you’ll need to do this early and often. Novelty is hugely important to keeping your Gemini interested, aroused, and satisfied.
Flexibility is one of the most important Gemini traits, and being flexible about whatever might happen, including threesomes or foursomes, sex parties you just learned about that night, and sudden interest in mixing in new partners may be necessary. It’s hard to know what might pique a Gemini’s curiosity next, so just be ready for spontaneous sexual shifts.
If your Gemini can’t seem to get out of their head and into their body—not uncommon for this sign, help them focus on their breath. When a Gem is nervous or uncomfortable, their breathing will grow extremely shallow and you’ll notice that when they talk, they’re not even stopping to pause between sentences. Note that telling the difference between a calm and comfortable Gem who won’t stop talking and an anxious Gem who won’t stop talking requires navigating a fine line. Try tantric breathing exercises with them, attuning your breath to theirs, and then slowing yours down, so they get more oxygen into those lungs.
Most Compatible Signs for Gemini
Sister air signs Aquarius and Libra understand how the magnificent Gemini mind works, and they don’t have to play catch up. Although their shared intellectual element makes each of these signs somewhat emotionally detached, when they come together in love or friendship there is an easy, pleasant flow that’s generally low in conflict and great for hours of discussion and socializing. With Aquarius, the Gemini will be steeped in algorithmic theory, and with the Libra, they’ll be steeped in cocktail party chat. Both are comfort zones, although the sex in these relationships can be merely fine and unremarkable.
The Twins get on extremely well with both Aries and Leo natives. Gems know how to stoke their fire, and these connections can be extremely hot, both in bed and in everyday life. With Rams, Gemini gets to go full-speed and neither sign is afraid of a good old-fashioned verbal joust. With Lions, Gemini gets to express their dramatic side, and this pairing can get decidedly theatrical.
Sagittarius, the third and final fire sign of the zodiac, is Gemini’s opposite—their shadow. Twins are not usually fans of going deep into their own psyche unless propelled by some outside force, and a pairing with a Sagittarius can be the thing that makes them reckon with their hidden side. Even though this relationship can be incredibly challenging, both signs will be better for it. There is a magnetism here that’s uncontrollable, and the sex can be truly life-changing for all parties.
Water sign Pisces, one of the other mutable signs, can be a difficult match for a Gemini, as they are both constantly changing and neither one can nail the other down, even for a second. The overwhelming Piscean emotional tenor can be off-putting to a Gemini at first, but if they allow themself to relax into it, dipping their toes into such a deep sea of feelings can teach them how to pay attention to their emotional state instead of always passing their feeling through a mental filter first.
Virgo, another mutable sign, presents something of a neurotic challenge. Because both of these signs are ruled by Mercury, there is so much nervous energy in this pairing that a Virgo/Gemini couple might have to invest in a cabinet full of Rescue Remedy and/or Xanax. But the pure, white-hot intelligence of this twosome will be envied and unrivaled. In bed, they’ll have to work to stay calm, focused, and centered on each other’s bodies.
The Gemini Bottom Line
Geminis truly want to seduce you through your mind, and they can be magnetized by how quickly your synapses snap in response to them. Geminis are the ultimate “sapiosexuals” of the zodiac—they find intelligence sexually attractive and arousing. Teaching and learning are their twin sweet spots.
Geminis are notoriously hard to pin down simply because choosing is their least favorite thing. All the air signs are like this to a certain extent, but Geminis loathe boredom more than most things, and will do nearly anything to avoid it. If that means jumping from one partner to the next, the Gemini will search for an exit, but they’re less likely to totally ghost than other signs. They somehow always want to keep the conversation going, and the proverbial door open, in case they change their mind again. Variety is their spice of life.
Remember that a Gemini can become so overstimulated by their thoughts that they forget to breathe. As the sign that rules the lungs, this is something they need to be reminded to do again and again. Meditation can really help them, if they can sit down long enough to focus for a few moments. Geminis will tell you either that they hate meditation or that it saved their life. One of their best-held secrets is that their inability to forego mental stimulation masks a deep fear of being alone with their own raw feelings.
Gemini musician Prince, now a Twin in the Great Purple Beyond, famously said: “In a word or two, it’s you I wanna do/No not your body, your mind you fool” in his amazingly danceable funk song “Sexy M.F.” and if you’re interested or already in love with a Gemini—do take those words to heart.
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