In this time of a global pandemic—the first in over a century—we need to acknowledge that right now, things feel dark and uncertain.
We’re in a time of crisis: many countries have closed their borders, many people are in forced isolation, and many others have lost their jobs overnight. Just like everyone else, you don’t know where to get reliable information to safeguard your health, and you know and love people who are very vulnerable right now. The stress has likely exaggerated any other concerns going on in your life already.
Your mental health may be suffering, and you may be feeling even more anxious or depressed.
For sex coaches who rely on clients or customers coming in person, you are terrified because your income has suddenly been cut. You’ve had to cancel your workshops, retreats, festivals, events, conferences, and in-person sessions.
There is no denying that right now, things are highly worrying and anxiety provoking.
But in crisis, there is also opportunity. We truly believe that sex coaches and sexuality professionals were made for this time, so here are some suggestions on how you can reframe your current situation, and why you are actually perfectly positioned to thrive in this time.
You know how to shift with the times.
Working with sexuality is unconventional, against the trend, polarizing, and often misunderstood.
That means sex coaches and sexuality professionals have long had to master the art of reinvention, pivoting, moving with the times, and being really creative about how we get our work out there.
Now is our time to do that again, from scratch.
Remember that even though you are, at heart, a helping professional who provides a person-centered and healing service, you are also a business owner. And with any business, whether it’s working with sexuality or not, you must continually move with the times in order to stay relevant.
Practice extreme self care.
Sex coaches have long had to master the art of extreme self-care and self-regulation because we are so often holding space for clients during their darkness and loneliness, their pleasure, and their ecstasy. (You have been keeping up with your extreme self-care, haven’t you?!)
You already know what you need to do to take exquisite care of yourself at this time, albeit in a modified way. So during a crisis, you need to use ALL of your self-care tools.
Meditate, eat well, get enough sleep, exercise in whatever capacity you can, have regular orgasms, if you are isolated with a partner, get lots of healing touch, continue seeing your therapist or coach by Skype or video conference. Do whatever it is you need to raise your vibration and stay well.
Our work is all about connection, not just “sex.” Even if we can’t see clients face to face and hands on right now, we can still connect with them virtually.
Start to get creative about how you can offer your services online or via phone!
You can also use this time to connect with others in your community as much as possible. For example, your local community, the people living on your street, the sex positive community, your faith community or whatever other communities you are part of.
There are so many grassroots support groups and services popping up, along with people organizing online hangouts, classes, and circles. Take advantage of and utilize these!
Do some online yoga, fitness, or meditation classes (and pay the teachers, too), do live hangouts with your social media following, answer questions, make more content.
Ask yourself, how can you connect with your community more right now? And how can you shine your light more?
Think strategically and play the long game.
We will be living in uncertainty and chaos for the next few months at least, so now is the time to get your house in order. When the crisis ends and everything returns to some kind of normalcy, there will be more demand for your work again, so what needs sorting now?
Think of now as the perfect time to go to ground, re-think, strategize, and alchemize.
What project has been on the back burner for you?
What have you most wanted to learn but never had time/energy/money for?
What have you always longed to create but didn’t have time/energy/money for?
How can you make your work more accessible and expansive than ever?
This is the time to do it.
Watch out for current trends.
Leaders in the world of business are doing just that, right now. The next few months could see huge shifts in the marketplace, and you need to be able to spot them.
What does your audience really need right now? If you have a Facebook group or social media following, connect with them personally or ask more questions. Or you can think about your current clients or friends: what are they struggling with during this crisis?
Sex and relationship problems still exist and will still be there after the virus has passed.
This current crisis will create a new set of problems, so listen to what people are needing and wanting right now.
Ask yourself: what relationship and sexual problems are they currently experiencing that you can help with?
What problems can you solve for them?
Here are some concerns and possibilities that could arise for your clients and audience:
- Being confined with their partner/s and families will heighten any pre-existing tensions and conflicts. How will they manage them? What do they need help with?
- Likewise, this will be heightened by any stress from their income and finances, their or their family’s health, their kid’s schools, and being at home with the kids.
- This extra stress will exacerbate any underlying sexual concerns—vaginismus, uneven desire, erectile challenge, early ejaculation, anal dyspareunia etc.
- Any ongoing conflicts around parenting, communication, finances, healthcare, or family will be exacerbated by the current stress.
- People will be masturbating a lot more now they’re stuck at home– what will be the results of that? Will they have more orgasmic and ecstatic experiences? Or will it exacerbate a problem they have with porn? What will the effect be the adult entertainment industry as a whole? And individual performers?
- If they have been cut off from a partner due to isolation or travel- they will be feeling this lack of physical contact and sexual contact. How will their communication get better or worse? What will happen with sexting and virtual sex? What conversations will happen around sex toys?
- If they are gay/lesbian/trans and are having to stay home with the family, what extra stress will this put on them?
- What about access to contraception and sexual health services, or to hormone therapy and gender confirmation services? How will this impact them.
These are potentials, so I invite you to think of your current and past clients, and social media followers and how they will be responding now.
Continue the Conversation
Finally, let’s support each other. Share how you plan to use this time to restructure your practice and business, and ask for help if you need it. Join us in our Facebook discussion group, Sex Matters, and connect with a loving, supportive community today.